Ever since I was young, I have never wanted to enter my house when it was dark outside. There are times that I would sit in my car for an hour, until my parents got home so that I would not enter the house alone. As I have grown older, I have appreciated the dark more and more. I like it to be really dark when I sleep. I like movie theater's to be dark. Darkness is something that God created also.
The reason that I am speaking about darkness is because this weekend... I understood a new perspective on darkness. One that I do not know if I was ready to learn or not. When it's dark... you don't see everything in plain sight. You can't see very far in front of you while you are walking and you are searching for a light with every step that you take... so that you can see, so that you don't stumble, so that you don't fall down.
In Munkacs, it gets dark around 5 pm. The wedding was set to begin at 5 and we were running a little late. I was wearing my new pair of New Balances. As we were walking, all I could think about was how I was going to ruin my shoes. Slowly placing my feet in different places so that I would not get them muddy. It had been raining a lot in Munkacs at that time. The streets were filled with mud and big puddles.
The wedding celebration was absolutely awesome. Gypsies and their celebrations are anything but unique. They have their own culture and way of doing it. I got to see my little boys from the Summer for the 3rd time. Every time they see me, it's like amazement. They can not believe that I have come back again. This time I had to talk in front of the camera and all I could hear were screams from behind me "JESSIE, JESSIE!!" This my friends is the reason I come back to Munkacs. There is a feeling inside that I get when I am around these children. I want to make a difference in their lives so bad that it hurts.
So to explain where I was going with the darkness part of this story. The next morning I woke up... went outside to get some fresh air. It was still rainy, wet and muddy. We had to leave quickly after we woke up... we had to get on the road for we had a long journey ahead of us to get back to Budapest.
I knew that it might be the last time that I got to visit Munkacs before I traveled back to North Carolina. I also knew that it may be the last time that I get to see some of these friends until next Summer.
When we pulled out onto the street, something hit me. I started looking around. This place didn't look the same as it did this Summer. This place had trash everywhere, rainy wet roads and mud puddles, and desperation was in each of the faces that we passed. As we rounded the bend, I saw 3 boys that were apart of the summer camps this summer. They were searching through the trash that was laying on the ground. (Do you get it-- I'm weeping.)
The first thoughts thing came to my mind was that I was mad? Tears ran down my face. How can I come 6,000 miles away from my home and fall in love with these children...? Why am I an American? Why do they have to dig through the trash? Lord, why do they have no shoes and it's cold outside? Lord, why are they sick with no money? Lord, why THEM?
The night before I had been worried about my New Balance shoes getting dirty. That next day, I no longer cared about my New Balance shoes getting dirty... I cared about my 'children' getting dirty.
People, I do not think you understand. My heart is breaking. My eyes are filled with tears. Could you think of your brother or sister in the trash searching for their desires? In the dead of darkness, we don't see what people are living in. In the dead of darkness, we don't see what their faces are saying. In the dead of darkness, we don't see what's really going on in someone's life. But God does. Are you living in the darkness?
Wake up. Step into the light. God is waiting.
These next few months are going to be hard. They are cold, wet and dreary. I want to ask each and everyone of you to pray for these children. Sickness is already spreading in the Ukraine. 50 deaths have already been recorded. When these kids are sick they can not afford to go to the doctor. Pray for me to be strong as well.
This image will forever be in my mind. It has touched me deeper than I have been touched in a long time.
The link to my new youtube video where you can see the gypsy wedding is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glUXRC1ZTVI
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